The holidays are upon us, and are usually met with a mix of emotion. Over the last few weeks I've had many conversations with friends. Some are excited about this time of year, some not so much. Almost all speak of the stress and weight this time of year brings. Our own personal experience and history plays a huge part in how we feel, and can be both joyful and tragic. This is also a time when our culture goes nuts, with outside influences on what to value, consume, and how to spend our time and money.

For my family, we are in full Christmas mode. Our daughter is three this year, and for the first time is able to really engage and understand what all is going on. Almost every evening she sits her nine month old brother down to play school, house, or dance class. This time usually entails a lecture on what Christmas is and repetitive questions of asking him if he understands, and convincing him that he wants the male version of whatever she wants ("He wants the blue carebear, I want the pink one"). The conversations are funny, and Leigh and I record most of them to share with family. Good times!

As Leigh and I get the opportunity to begin starting our own family Christmas traditions, we are spending a lot of time thinking about what it looks like to strip away the distraction of the holidays and focus on what this season is all about. During Advent, we have been going through the Jesus Storybook Bible, which has been fun to act out (I'm glad there aren't any cameras to prove our terrible acting and storytelling). One of the traditions – like many families have during this time – it thinking about is how we serve together. Obviously there are many different opportunities. Our mailboxes are full of end of the year asks from nonprofits, international opportunities to help those in desperate need, and a barrage of news stories highlighting soup kitchens and toy drives.

What I have found is that many times I can, as a reaction, thoughtlessly throw money or resources (coats, winter clothes) without a whole lot of thought. As we raise our kids, we want them to understand that great Mercy has been given to them, and that is the foundation for acting mercifully to our neighbors and city. As I react without fully engaging, many times out of guilt, I realize that I am robbing my family and kids of a beautiful experience. I want my kids to know and understand the importance of acting mercifully, and doing it in a way that validates the dignity of all those around us.

My hope for all of us this year is that as we give and serve, we do it in a way that engages our hearts and families. Talking about why we do what we do this time of year is important. It is also a great time to look at our motivations to give. Are we doing what we are doing because it is a great way to feel good about ourselves, or a great opportunity for our family? I would challenge that thinking, and ask you to spend some time taking the focus off of you and instead onto those that are hurting and in need. Nobody wants to be your charity case, but there is room for relationship and giving in a way that empowers. I know it is easier to serve at a one-time event, but maybe this year you can share a story with someone, talk to a neighbor, and use your resources in a way that is sustainable and lasts more than the Christmas season. What a beautiful example to your family, their family, and our city.

Have a great Christmas!